Terrible Twos

In the second year of the reign of Queen Lucy the terrible, there was great trial in the land. At least for Mama Duck.

I am not a novice to the era of the terrible. I've safely ushered 3 little ducks through the traumatic second year of toddlerhood with only a minimum of drama and bloodshed. It has come to pass, however, that I may have met my match in the queen. She is quickly pushing me to that indecipherable, "you'll know it when you see it" state known as "my wit's end."

I can't manage this child. She is exhausting me, and please remember that every two year old I've ever mothered reached the peak of terribleness more or less during the third trimester of pregnancy. Like I said; we've all been here before.

But was there ever a toddler so stubborn, so willful, so demanding? What Grace made up for with her generally calm demeanor and exceptional verbal skills, and Sam made up for with his utter susceptibility to mama magic (and sugar bribes) and Claire made up for with her general sweetness and distractibility, Lucy brings full force with her terrible twoness.

She is capable only of hurricane force emotions and literally refuses to answer any question (seriously, even questions like, "do you want candy?") with anything but a belligerant "NO," (you have to listen to the tone to know if it is no-no, or yes-no; or, better, just listen to the question and assume whatever answer--affirmative or negative--that you desire, is the one the queen is sure not to provide). She is becoming increasingly verbal, but her frustration when we can't understand her is simply epic. A typical conversation goes like this, "Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Ah-paco."
"What, darling?"
"Ah-paco. Peeees."
"You want popcorn?"
"NO! Ah baco. Bee bee"
"You want your baby?"
"NO!!!" (commence screaming and thrashing.)
"You want a banana?" growing more desperate, "You want a cookie? You want your binky? You want a diamond ring?"
"No," sadly, pitifully. (This is almost worse).
"Ah baco, Sammy-Gace moka bee bee. Ok?" (add gestures and pointing)
"You want to go for a walk?"
"NO!!"
"You want lamby?"
"NO!"
and so it goes.
It's exhausting.

And the thing is, she is such a charming, adorable little thing. She has this wrinkle nosed smile that makes you just melt, and she can work the room like nobody I've seen since her uncle Craig and her cousin Nico. But she is wearing me out.

I keep having this vision of some boy trying to take advantage of her some day. All I can say is I am already terrified for this unsuspecting teenage bundle of hormones. He'll end up with a black eye, an ice pack between his legs, and a tongue lashing so severe it leaves him seriously evaluating the priesthood. Come to think of it, maybe all this willfulness isn't such a bad thing. If I can just survive until her third birthday. Oy.