Ants in my pants

Many people at my work opt to walk for exercise during their half hour lunch period. In spite of the heat, I have been trying to join them as often as I can since I've been back to work.

I relish that 3o minutes away from the artificially lit, climate controlled atmosphere of cubicle city. I drink in the sunshine and fresh air (even when it has more in common with warm water than one might desire) and, more often than not, head towards one end of the factory where there is a narrow gravel path near a small, wooded area. The trees do my soul good.

Yesterday, I could tell it was late summer by the mad dance of the grasshoppers and other bugs in the tall grass. Little buzzing things, disturbed by my footsteps, whirred madly out of my path as I walked. Bugs have never bothered me too much. My husband has me kill the scarier ones that find their way in our house (don't tell him I said that).

When I finished my walk, I ran into a friend of mine I haven't seen since I left work to have Clayton. Before I left, she had just announced her first pregnancy and now she is adorably, gloriously round, 4 weeks from her due date. We all know my great enthusiasm for all things gestational and baby related, so we conversed happily for several minutes.

At one point, I became aware of a strange buzzing near my hip. I casually pulled my blackberry from my pocket and checked my status. No new calls, texts, voice mails, or facebook updates. Strange. The buzz returned, slightly more to the side. Then again, near my behind. And again closer to my hip again.

I was growing distracted and my grip on the conversation lessened. My body has been through a lot in the last decade or so, and strange twinges and pains are not exactly uncommon. But this was just weird. I excused myself and stuck my hand in my pocket. I felt a tiny, fuzzy lump about the size of a marble through the fabric of my trousers. I felt a slight pinch, and then I squeezed the squashy ball shaped thing mercilessly. I looked down to see the body of one of those round bumblebees near the toe of my left shoe. At which point I had to wonder: Did that THING just fall out of my PANT LEG?

I raced inside the office to the nearest bathroom, trying to keep from screaming, running, or wriggling my hips too furiously (and most unprofessionally) at the creepy, crawly sensations now engulfing me. I slammed into a bathroom stall and stripped to my skin, wiggling everything below my elbows as madly as I possibly could. I found nothing, though the skin on my left hip was discolored, slightly swollen, and now starting to swell slightly. Bee sting?

So, I'm pretty sure a bumble bee flew up my pant leg (because even the most madly suicidal bug couldn't have worked his way between my waistband and my still squashy belly skin), and buzzed merrily about inside them until I realized his existence and smooshed him to his death.

Seriously. Does this kind of thing happen to anyone else?